Says Who?

Do you remember what it felt like to ask your parents for permission? Take yourself back to 3rd grade. It's a Friday, and you just got a great test score back. Your best friend leans over conspiratorially at lunch and suggests pitching a slumber party to your parents. You decide to call at lunch because you can't wait to know the answer. Remember having to wait in the pause between asking and hearing the answer? Trying to read the silence or reflect back on how your mom sounded when she answered the phone. The way time slowed down. The crushing disappointment of "no" and the elevating thrill of a "yes".

When you break that down, that permission was doing more heavy lifting than we realized. It gave the ‘ok’ to have fun. To be ourselves. To enjoy time with someone we loved. To spend time the way we wanted.

What's wild is we needed to ask when we were kids. Of course we did. But so many of us continue with this mindset through adulthood. Only, we're not asking if we can spend the night with our best friend. We're asking who am I? Can I show up? Can I offer my idea fully? Can I point out some potential issues I see? Can I ask for what I need?

Far too often, we assume the answer is, "no". That we shouldn't take up that space. Or bother someone with our opinions, perspectives or ideas. That to step into that opportunity would be to overstep and offend...whom?

WHO? 

Society? Our peers and colleagues? Our parents? Ourselves? Often, when we ask who is dictating our social behavior, it's only an apparition. A ghost only conjured from our own tapestry of experience, trauma and societal norms.

What if I told you, you can choose? YOU can decide if you permit the behavior. You can decide your value. You can pick your habits, patterns and where you place your interest. Which, in turn, changes your identity.

As Captain Planet would say, “The power is YOURS!”